ON THIRTY-FIVE. ON THE PAST. ON THE FUTURE.

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Guess what? Today I'm 35, which means that I'm now old enough to be President of the United States - and I'm seriously considering it.

Age is odd. At thirty-five, I still feel in some respects like a 22 year old, and in others I feel about 60. My body is hanging in there, despite the havoc I've wreaked upon it (knock on wood) and I still have the majority of my mental facilities, so I guess I don't have much to complain about... then again...

One of the core requirements for an artist is to be unsatisfied. I think that understanding that concept is one of the keys to coping with an artistic life. Once an artist becomes content, becomes satisfied with the status-quo - said artist is dead in a figurative sense, (of course).

I am figuratively very much alive.

It's apropos that my birthday and New Year's are at the polar ends of the year. Today, July 15th, is the absolute center of summer, and of course, January 1st is just about winter's bleakest point. In the past few years when my birthday or New Year's rolled around, I've shied away from looking back over what I've done, as well as avoided looking forward to what I've planned on doing. There were a couple of reasons for that. Dwelling on past accomplishments is a death knell to be sure. You can't rest on your laurels, nor languish in your failures. Learn from both and move on. As far as looking ahead, I was afraid that I was spending a bit too much time thinking (and blogging) about what I was going to do... in place of actually doing it. In addition, I was always afraid of penning (pun not intended) myself into a project - just because I said I was going to do it.

I think it's time for a more political - read: presidential - approach. After all, I'm 35 now, and being presidential is fully age appropriate. I'll talk about what I've done when I want to talk about it, and I'll look ahead when I want to look ahead. I'll think, discuss, and write about what I'm going to do next, and I won't hold myself to it at all... how presidential.

I guess that's sort of a heads up for the two or three people that read this blog: Take it all with a grain of salt.

All right, a year ago (about) the first book of my dark fantasy trilogy called Delving came out. When I wrote the book, it wasn't intended to be a "first" of anything. It was intended to be a stand alone story called Delving. However, the response from early pre-readers exceeded those of my other books, and they all wanted to know what happened after the first Delving book.

After?

How the hell did I know? At any rate, the response was favorable enough that I made the decision to continue on with Delving into another book. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that I sort of did know just where the story could go, and realized that I could pump another two volumes out of it.

The thing was, I had experienced a phenomenal response from my first published book, The Feast of Catchville - and a so-so one from my second, Swaybuck. As a result of the enthusiasm of my then-pre-readers - who wouldn't hesitate to tell me if something sucked - I thought the release of the first Delving book - Delving: Obligations - would be fantastic. I even went and sucked some great blurbs out of a few well known authors in hopes of getting the word out on the novel. Ren and I created a website, actually a "wing" of the official scottfalkner.com website, that catered exclusively to the world of Delving, offering character bios, excerpts, backgrounds, and even t-shirts to try and amp up the release of the book.

And a year ago it came out, and didn't do what I'd necessarily call phenomenally well in the sales department.

I was shocked. Stunned. A general state of disbelief ensued. What did I do wrong? I've not heard one negative review of the book - and by ALL means, if you've read it and didn't like it, I'd love to hear from you, seriously. The promotion matched, if not surpassed that of my other books. WTF?

The only thing that I can really figure is that the books aren't horror novels. They're not about ghosts or zombies. They're certainly dark fantasy, but they're anchored more in character relationships and self-discovery. They're more "literate" than the stuff I've written in the past.

So perhaps that was the problem? I was birthed into the horror genre, and the horror genre wanted nothing to do with the new books.

Okay.

I can deal with that.

A year passed.

Some more people have picked up the first Delving book over the last year. I've heard from some of them, and they all were excited to hear what was going to happen in the second one. Cool. The second book, Delving: Assassins, came out last month. It's different from the first one. It's less introspective and more action-based. It's a book that I would want to read (as is everything I write), and I guess that's all that really matters at this point. I continue to write for me. I've dropped out the whole pre-reader part of the process because I'm just arrogant enough to think that I'm smart enough to know what it is that I want to do and how to do it. I loathe accepting other people's points of view when it comes to my writing. Of course, I work with my editors to put forward the best possible collection of words and sentences - that's my responsibility to my publisher - but as far as the ideas go, as far as the genres go - that's all me.

And now I'm writing what we've been referring to as the "mystery" book. It's a collection of short stories. It's sort of horror, but a lot dark fantasy. It'll be tough for some to latch onto. It'll be perfect for the sensibilities of others. I like it a lot so far. And as I said before...

Next month I begin writing the last Delving book, Delving: Culminations. In tone and theme, it'll be a mix of the first two. There are a lot of family dynamics that need to be addressed. There are a lot of characters who will either kill or be killed. There are Delves that fans of the series will be shocked by. There will be a final confrontation that could mean the end of the world.

There's a book I finished in the last year called Calvin Dyer and the Reatian Horde. I submitted it to a publisher that specializes in what I like to think of as horror-based fantasy and science fiction. Having read other books by this mid-list publisher, I thought Calvin Dyer... might actually be a good fit for them. Guess not. "It's very good - we just don't feel it fits with what we do..." was the response. I guess my inability to pick a genre and stick with it is once again working against me. But what am I gonna do? I write what I like to read. Period. If the rest of the industry can't get behind it, fuck 'em. By the way, if you're a publisher and interested in Western-orientated Dark Fantasy, drop me a line.

Three books are in the works, and about five others are in the "I've written the first few chapters and am still letting them float around in my mind before I really go toe to toe with them" phase. I'm not sure which of these I'll hit after I'm done writing Culminations. Oh, trust me, they'll all get written, it's just a question of order and where my mind is. I've read and heard other authors talk about how you "have" to keep plowing through one book before you head onto the next one.

Every time I hear someone tell me I "HAVE" to do something, my nerves tingle like the hackles on a bloodlusty wolf.

My painting has really, really, suffered in the past year. Again, I worked myself into doing a "series" of paintings called the Zecada Fears. I had this whole idea of accompanying five different paintings with a short story I'd thought up. Great. Two of them are done - you can view them in the Gallery on my website. The third is virtually finished, but it's just a time issue. With three kids, a full docket professionally, and all the other mandatory bullshit that filters into life despite my best efforts to keep it at bay, something's gotta give. One of these years, perhaps 2010 - I'm going to take the entire year off from writing and just paint full time. I look forward to it.

Writing a play is something that I've wanted to do for a long time. I don't feel quite confident enough to do it just yet, but I think I'll start reading more plays in the near future to get a feel for the medium. The undisclosed city - or rather, town - we're moving near in the next few months has a small community theater which I would very much like to get involved in. Perhaps after being a part of a few productions, whether on the stage or behind the scenes - will allow me to absorb that much more of the medium, and get me thinking about writing, producing, and directing theater. We'll put that one in the 'on the horizon' file.

Comics. This is something else that I've been wanting to do for a long time. I'd originally thought of doing a comic utilizing not only my writing talents, but my painting as well. I thought I might do something a la Dave McKean's Arkham Asylum. That possibility is still there, but as with theater, I need to know more about the process. I talked to a friend of mine yesterday that writes comics professionally, and he recommended some resources to look into if I was interested in the process. I'm definitely going to be taking a good long look at it with hopes of writing something for the medium soon.

The small town that we're moving to over the next few months has a very rich history - primarily in the lumber industry. As with most small towns, there's a lot of that history that has been recorded over the years, and most of it is pretty generic. Something I would very much like to do in the coming years is shoot a film concerning the story of the lumber industry in northern Wisconsin. I know a few dark details not included in the majority of the generic histories that make me think a documentary on the subject could be fascinating. Again, film is something that I've only had a limited education in, and documentaries are something that I've never really been schooled in. So, the process will need to be examined, and examine it I will.

There's always something to hold my attention and to look forward to. I guess that's a mark of a life worth continuing. At thirty-five, I'm not satisfied, not by a long shot. There's lots more to do. There's daily vendettas to be addressed. There's barriers to break. There's roles to be discovered.

There's work to be done. Always.